It's been awhile....

It's been quite awhile since I've posted, it's hard when you don't feel good and then it seems like that's all I've been posting about lately! But That has been my life, last week was really bad, I really couldn't breathe well, even though it said I was getting enough oxygen I just felt like I couldn't breathe, I also had fevers which I hate fevers to no end they just make you feel so bad! I honestly felt like my time was up and I am okay with that I really am, I struggled with it a few months ago and sometimes I have felt like it will be alright and I will live for a couple more years, but right now I am calm and peaceful about it, I'm not giving up, I just don't see how my body can keep going when it can't breathe! Of course I get all sad and yes cry when I think about leaving my husband, dogs, family, but I know that heaven is a great place to be! And with the time difference I will only be without them for a short time! I do feel bad for my husband though since he will have to go on without me but he must, and I expect him to make the most out of himself. I also thought of my new blog friends but just hope that the short time I have been able to make friends that I will have left a good and uplifting impression on, to keep going and 'endure joyfully to the end' (Elder Uchtdorf, Oct. '07).

Today:
Well I have been trying really hard lately to work on me, my faith, becoming a disciple, I am currently reading a talk by Elder Maxwell, studying that as well as the scriptures, and today (I have felt much better today by the way) I received a strong impression, which as I'm typing don't think appropriate to share right now but I will say that it has left me with high hopes for the future, I just need to continue to work on my faith and work on becoming a better disciple of Christ. Sometimes my husband and I have thought that as with the story from the bible of the man born blind so that the hand of the Lord might be shown that maybe that is happening to me because really that is the only reason I am still here, medically there is nothing they can or really are doing (except pumping me full of antibiotics) that is keeping me here and I just need to have greater faith in the Lords plan for me.