Good-Bye 2007

Wow I can't believe the year is over! and honestly I didn't think I would be alive to see 2008 there were many times when I was sure my time was up. I feel really blessed to still be here and I treasure everyday I am alive, I am trying to use my time to accomplish good and not waste it so my goals will reflect that (which I should post on tomorrow).

I love 2007 because I discovered the blogging world and have made many new friends. I'm so glad everyone has had a great holiday season and I hope everyone has a great New Year!

Pink Christmas...

I participated in Pink Christmas, this is what I received from Leslie (first I really like the star box she had it in) a beautiful James Avery Heart from 'Deep in the heart of Texas' as Leslie put it, she is from Texas and she knows that Texas holds a special place in my heart, I do not currently live there but I did for 13 years. Thanks Leslie:) Check out this website for more.

Wal-mart Closed...

I can't believe it! Wal-mart closed at 6pm on Christmas Eve! What about all those really really last minute shoppers???? So we drove down the road...someone had to be open....not that one....not that one....I see cars, GO!!!! YIPPEE for Albertsons they don't close until 9pm! Now I have milk for my morning glass of chocolate milk, Christmas will be alright after all!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! things are going good here, I am trying to take some pictures so I can do some posts! Hope everyone has a fun, safe, and loving Christmas.

Life is good..with some sad...

Isn't that how life goes though? So the thing with the in-laws is going really well, MH talked to them yesterday while I was napping (very nice, I wasn't totally asleep, I heard them talking but since there was no yelling I didn't get up) he said it went really well they were able to talk about a lot of things and work some things out. Communication and understanding can go a long way (it doesn't hurt to through in a couple hundred prayers). So that is good, we are enjoying the visit.

In other news MH found out his grades today, let's just say they weren't what he was expecting! It's so frustrating! He works so very hard, studies all the time, puts in the effort and this is what he gets! what about the future now? Plus MH still isn't feeling good, now his break from school will be spent sick! We really want to go to the Temple but last weekend I was sick and now him! It's turning into a downer day.

Thanks everyone for all your comments they are uplifting and touching I'm so grateful for the people that take time out of their life to read my little blog that I'm sure isn't very good (and full of complaints, need to work on that) and then take more time to leave me a little comment, it really touches me. Thank you.

I need to get some pictures off the camera and then we will return to picture posts and more uplifting posts!

What's with me?

First the in-law update, they called and since it is bad weather they are staying another night at his sisters house (yippee! I am so happy, another night alone!) I guess tomorrow we will have to have the talk.

That would have been super great news had MH not been sick today! I had a cold last weekend and I think I gave it to him, or at least I really hope so that way I don't catch what he has! I hope today was the worst of it, we just watched movies. We went and got some chinese food from our favorite resturant and some hot and sour soup because it cures anything!

Now with the story of the title, so on the way to get our food it was just raining, at one stop light we commented on the trees blowing in the wind and how cool it looked because they had christmas lights on them (and I wish I brought my camera) while MH was getting the food I waited in the car and more wind and then corn snow (small hail/snow) and with every min it got worse and worse! MH was only gone maybe 10 min. and by the time he came back the street was almost all white! we started off and I thought, pretty cool because it was just flying everywhere! (again really wish I had my camera it was pretty cool) But then I got this panic feeling, this is not normal! I just started freaking out and being really worried about making it home, the whole time I kept thinking why, well I think it's because I am dependant on oxygen and I am afraid of running out! if something happened I don't know if we had enough to get us through whatever we needed to get through, and also the cold makes it harder to breath so if we were in an accident or stuck on the side of the road...I hate this not being able to breath stuff, the only time I have ever experienced a minor panic attack was this one time I walked up a steep flight of stairs and boy I couldn't breath and I couldn't catch my breath and that really scared me and freaked me out, I think since then I am just worried about not being able to breath!

So this nice little outing turned into me having a freak out experience, I did mostly hold it in, I was screaming at MH inside my head, SLOW DOWN!!!! so he better be grateful I wasn't voicing them!

Family History....

Okay I just spent the last twenty mins. writing the history with his parents and this house and I still was at the beginning, it's a long story! Okay now I'm regretting deleting it because I feel like one in order for you to know where I'm coming from you need to know what has happened! And also to make sure it isn't me going crazy but to show you that she isn't nice! then again it will show that we should have never moved in with in-laws. I don't know, I just don't feel like they believe us when we tell them that 1- we are so eternally grateful for their help and 2-we are doing everything we can and there is no way we can pay rent! I really honestly feel like I am a burden to them then a daughter-in-law (at the beginning I felt like a daughter to them, they only have two boys, the other isn't married so I was the daughter she never had, but a couple years ago I stopped feeling that and felt more like a daughter-in-law and now I feel like a big burden!) I have tried to see if I can do something from home but I can't! My husband (MH) is doing everything he can. Hmm...maybe I can't write this, I keep erasing, it's just hard to say what I want to say without going into a long history!

Why do our families seem the hardest to deal with? One of MH friends from school brought us dinner tonight and we were talking about that and decided that it's because you can choose your friends but not your family, so of course your friends like you and build you up and encourage you, but isn't that what your family should do too? shouldn't they be your best friend? Shouldn't they be supportive? Uplifting? Helpful?

I should go to bed before I mess up this post more, I wish I could write beautifully the way other bloggers do so I could tell you the whole story or at least get something out that makes sense right now. I am so grateful for my friends but I am so happy that I can say that right now my best friend is my sister, we didn't get along growing up and it has been slowly but over the years we have grown closer together and I am so so glad that she is my best friend, and actually my other friends who live close to me and I thought were good and close friends have all deserted me the past year, so in a way I'm glad that my best friend can't 'desert' me because she is family! I love you Sis! Thank you so much for being there for me, for being my best friend (oh besides my husband of course! my best 'girl' friend).

Two good things....

1-found out my in-laws are leaving the 27th..YIPPEE!!!! I so thought it was later, oh I can't wait. I'm so glad it is sooner rather than later.

2-my in-laws went to stay with relatives tonight, the house is mine again, I feel so wonderful! (okay if they can stay the night why can't they just stay there?)

And I just have to say I was thinking about my blessings yesterday (trying to see good amidst bad) and I could not do any of this without my loving husband (of course it's kinda because of him too...hmmm..) but he listens to me and we complain together and talk and share. But also I could not have gotten through yesterday without blogging it and talking to my sister, I think I do better if I can talk about it over and over but I don't want to involve more people than I have too (although I have just involved the whole internet world now) so I only keep it too my husband and sister, so it is nice to write it out too and then my sister totally understands (as all of you too) about in-laws and was sharing stories about hers too. I just don't like contention or confrontation etc... I would rather live with it then confront them, but we have too. Guess it will just have to wait until tomorrow now!

Christmas Carol History...

I got this in an email, hope it's true!

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?

Today, I found out.

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.


-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.


So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol.

Update on situation....

Okay this morning I was left alone with them and we all talked for about 40mins, but just about 'stuff' nothing that we need to talk about I will wait for my husband, it was good but we need to have 'the talk' with them, they went off and ran errands before my husband and I could get with them so maybe later. I think I'll survive today.

Calm Down....

Okay, I need to calm down, I have never ever been like this! I never get worked up or emotionally upset but I am and I can't stop! If I was healthy (or at least not on oxygen or IV's) I would fly out right now no matter what the price to my sister's house (I am contemplating my parents they are just an hour away). I don't know if I can handle this! My in-laws left to go get dinner and my husband and I were talking and I am an emotional reck! Just things they said and blah blah, I feel like they don't love me anymore, I don't feel like a daughter to them anymore, I feel like a burden. See we live in their basement (well they don't live in the house anymore, they rent out the upstairs, they live a couple states away) and since I got really sick last Aug. they told us we didn't have to worry about rent, well since I never got better and got a job again we have never been able to pay rent and they totally hang it over our heads and they complain all the time about money and how much they need money for taxes blah blah... well let me share their christmas letter with you:

Last summer we went to Alaska on a cruise. It was wonderful. I am sold on cruising. I also traveled to Alberta to visit my sister and her husband.

---(father)and ---(son) were able to scuba dive in a local lake near our home last september. This is the first buddy dive with ---(son) and they are planning many more in the near future. ---(father) also got a chance to take a 3-day boat dive to the Flower Gardens in the Gulf of Mexico....

Okay does that sound like they hurt for money? they are planning trips in the future? more money. And while they were here they said how they haven't been to NY and that they (father, mother, son-not my husband) should go!!!!

Sorry about this post, I should just erase it, I am just such a mess right now. So the upstairs people are moving out in Jan. and we have been looking for people to rent it so that my in-laws won't be without renters right, helping them, well we find out tonight that they are renting to his brother and two friends!!!!! We might just move, we do not want single boys above us and his brother isn't exactly a 'good' boy, we split utilities and now I have to split them with all of them and try and collect it from them? I know they won't be reliable, we already did it with his brother once and it was a nightmare. I am going to bed early. I moved the tv into my bedroom and have water and snacks so I will survive. I may move the computer in there as well.

Hope I don't have to post again tonight. Calm down RoRo you can do this (maybe it's the meds I'm on..) I just feel so bad for my husband! It's his parents! Alright I'll go...

I'm going to blow......

Okay I didn't want to turn this blog into an anti-in-law blog but I have to let this out or I will explode! They just showed up today (more history later) and I was in my bedroom with the door closed (if it is open the dogs think they hear noises and bark alot) I had taken a nap and just got up and was just sitting there, I had the phones (land and cell) with me, well all of a sudden my dogs are barking and I hear someone come in my house, I think maybe my husband is home, then someone opens my door and lets the dogs out! My in-laws came and 'they had a key so they let themselves in'!!!!! yeah you also had a cell phone and I have a phone you could call and let me know you are here! Great way to start out a visit.

And just talking to them now they are totally catering to their other son (they only have two) say oh we need to go to NY, they are going cell phone shopping tonight and changing cell phone carriers because of him! Why does this bug me? because we are on their family plan, we got two phones for only $10 a month, it's awesome and totally comes in handy when I'm in the hospital since a call from the hospital is long distance.

I escaped by saying I need to do therapy (which is true, but I may be doing it longer than normal) I always put on my happy face and then will blow up when they leave for dinner (hopefully soon).

So a little history, don't remember if I covered it in my other post about them, my in-laws didn't ask to come, didn't ask to stay at our house, didn't tell us when they would be arriving, we were talking to them one day and they told us they bought tickets and were coming up! They just assume that we want them, when really the one and only thing I wanted this christmas was to spend quality time with my husband! So as you know from my previous post on them that the last time we talked with my in-laws was the sunday before Thanksgiving and things were said by his Mom that really hurt us, they have not talked to us since! They never called after that and then just show up today! I know that she probably didn't mean for her words to hurt the way they did and I know that we will end up talking about this because it's a money issue and we have to work something out. I just wish they would go away....now my christmas holiday is ruined!!!! I was hopeful, I tried to put on a happy face but it isn't going to work.

More later, have to post this before someone walks by....

Great Song...

I love this song (I didn't know Donny Osmond sang it, oh well still like it)and what great pictures to go with it:


Thanks Kara for posting it on your blog:)

I did it again!!!!

Okay so for today I will share a story, book, and recipe, gotta love it! Yesterday, wait rewind to friday night we went to our ward christmas party and after being home for maybe an hour my throat started to hurt, dang it I hope I didn't catch anything, my husband thought maybe it might be sinuses and I hoped so but I really didn't think so, yesterday it was worse all day plus my nose was running a lot and stuffy and I had the sinus headache going on etc... I have a cold, not good, I called to let someone know that I wouldn't be able to teach my lesson today which funny enough was on valuing and encouraging people with disabilities (why do I get to teach those?) I know I would have been great to teach it since you were suppose to have someone with disabilities come and share and hey, that's me!!!! Anyways, today I am not any better, throat is horrible, now it makes my ears hurt, nose is still running the boston marathon and there is still construstion in my head!

I went way too long without blogging! I hate it because I don't know what to blog about! I need to be better and I promise this next week I will be (mostly because my in-laws will be here and I would rather be on the computer:)so I will play major catch up) I will post lots of stuff so stayed tuned, although it will be a busy week for any who may read my blog, and thank you to my faithful readers who comment all the time, I read some blogs that get over 10 and sometimes over 20 comments and honestly am a little jealous! I want more friends.

The good news is I finally got someone to lend me their book of Eclipse! (book 3 in the Stephanie Meyers series, but everyone should know that) I have been dying to read it! So that was nice and I have something exciting to read.

Now the recipe...I am so hooked on this right now, it is easy and sooooo good! I make it every other week and eat it for lunch for the next four or five days!!! The recipe called for butter but I didn't have any when I made it so I used olive oil (and less of it) and I think it made it even better so my recipe calls for olive oil.

Place 4 chicken breasts (cut in half or quarters) in crock-pot pour 2/3cup of olive oil and one package of italian dressing (the kind if you wanted to make your own) mix around and place on high for 4-6 hours, then in a seperate bowl mix one can of cream of chicken soup and 3/4cup cream cheese in the microwave to heat it up and mix it up, after it is mixed pour it in the crock-pot and mix it around, cook for another 1/2 hour. Serve over rice. So yummy!!!!

Lunch and Movie....

I can't believe I didn't bring my camera today, oh well blog anyway right? get images off off google... We went to Olive Garden for the first time in two years for their endless salad and soup, last time I went I had like five bowls of their potato and sausage soup it was soooo good, not so much this time, I didn't even finish my first! Also the salad only had four slices of tomatoes(we went with another couple, what one for each?) and the service, oh my we got seated and waited 10-15 mins. then took our order waited the same AGAIN!! or more! it just seemed to be waiting all the time, I was so hungry!!!!


Then we went and saw the movie Enchanted (obvious) it was cute, I wasn't swept away but I would suggest you go see it. The absolute best was when she made her dress out of his curtains (the picture below, you can barely see it), Susan S. did a great job as the witch, and of course Pip (the squirrel).


Guess I should add that this is special because my husband finished his finals for the semester and he is off for a couple weeks! I love having him around, we haven't been out to a movie in so long, I can't remember what movie we last saw in the theater!

Correction...

Just a correction on the last post if it was confusing:

I didn't gain 15 pounds I gained 3, I need to gain 15 more!!!!!

My in-laws aren't just coming for the weekend (and I checked my calender and they don't come till tues. so I have a couple more days), they will be here a couple weeks! AAAHHH!!!!

Good/Not-so-good News...

Good News:
Since I have a lot of posts when I'm not doing well how about a post that I am! I had a dr. appointment on friday and I gained 3 pounds!!! I couldn't believe it! Only 15 more to go:) seriously!:) She said this is the best she has seen me in quite sometime and the biggest improvement from last visit (I went 2 1/2 weeks ago!) so I don't look as pale and awful! I do feel good, I have good days, the nights I get really tired early, I am still short of breath, just don't have a lot of lung function (about 12-14% actually) so I may feel good but it's hard to do things because I can't breathe! I'll take what I can get.

My husband is almost done with finals and then I will have him around more the next few weeks, he is at school almost 12 hours a day so I really miss him by the time the weekend comes (he actually has half day friday and then is gone all saturday) but he studies so hard and I am so proud of him.

I Love this picture of me with my niece and nephew, we are playing tic-tac-toe, and doesn't my hair just look good?

Not-so-good News:
I can't do Sudoku anymore! I got to the intermediate ones and have needed a little help!!! I thought I was suppose to get better and better just like the book! I try not to cheat too much.

My In-laws come in this weekend, don't get me wrong they are great people, very generous in helping us out since I have been unable to work, but his mother holds that over your head and then the last time my husband talked to them (before thanksgiving) she said things that were very inappropriate, I don't want to get into here because this blog wasn't meant to bash my in-laws but the stuff she said are inexcusable, it's really hard to explain more without getting into it, maybe I will if it gets crazy when they're here, for now we will just say we are not looking forward to their visit.

Snow Again...

One week later and it's a repeat! Except this fell in two hours! There was nothing but grass before I took a nap and then afterwards.....


Remember Chugs isn't as big a fan of snow as Texas, I took a video of Texas and I will try and load it.

It worked! Pay attention she likes to EAT the snow!!! I stopped it just as she started barking.

Naughty Puggle...

We sometimes take the dogs collars off when they play because they grab onto it and pull the other one around! Well we had their collars on the back of the sofa and my husband found Texas chewing on Chugs!!! She totally chewed off the clippy part! We have bones all over the place why does she want to chew on plastic? Not only that this is the second time this happened (you think we would learn to put them someplace else!) last time she chewed her collar (not the plastic part, the material part, but clean through!) and it was my favorite collar, it had the state of Texas all around it! When my nephew was here I caught her chewing a toy car as well, and a bone was right next to her! I still love her to death:) How could you not love this?

Cute Dogs

It's been awhile since I posted some pictures of my cute, adorable, loving dogs. I love them so much and realized the other day that if I didn't have them I would be so lonely since my husband is at work and school for 10 hours a day, he takes the car so I am 'at home' literally all day every day! It's not human contact or talk but at least I don't feel lonely, and they love me so much, they always come over for cuddles when I sit down or when I take a nap they are curled up right next to me (need to get a picture of that). How could you not love these two?
They love to snuggle in blankets:



They hate taking baths, but are very good to hold still:


Superman Dog:

I did it!!!!

I love numbers and when the craze of Sudoku came out I thought I could do it so easily! But NO! I tried over and over and could never get it, I was at the dollar store a month ago and thought I would pick up another book to try and do it yet again, they had the best book there! And for $1 (or course but it makes it that much more wonderful) it is spiral bound so easy to use, has a hard cover and 124 puzzles divided into three, beginner, intermed., advanced, and in those catagories it has five different levels of difficulty, you can also record your time. Well as you can see from the picture I am still in the beginning they still give me a lot of numbers but I have finally got the hang of it! I have done four in a row without help and in just a couple mins. each time!!! I can't believe I can do it now! I know that I am not a pro yet, only two more puzzles and then I'm in the intermediate but I feel like I was able to teach myself something new and that I am finally getting it! Just had to record this for me, go Ro!

A simple card....

I have had this card hanging by my computer since I got it from my parents, it is a simple card yet means the world to me, I know my parents love me and are thinking about me and worrying about me and will do anything for me, but my Mom still sent this card.

I think we underestimate the power a simple card can hold since being sick now over a year they mean so much more to me, I don't get to see friends or people like I use to (okay pretty much never!) and so a card means they are still thinking about me, I haven't been forgotten, I am missed. So please, send a card to any friends you haven't seen in awhile and to those you know that aren't doing too well, a simple little card can lift and brighten their entire day! (this is not a shout out for cards to be sent to me, please do not take it that way).

Talk...Part 6 {last one}

Defining Moments

We sometimes speak of defining moments. Long ago in May 1945 there was such a moment for me on the island of Okinawa at age eighteen. There was certainly no heroism on my part but rather a blessing for me and others during the shelling of our position by Japanese artillery. After repeated shellings which overshot our position, the enemy artillery finally zeroed in. They should have then fired for effect, but there was a divine response to at least one frightened, selfish prayer. The shelling halted. The prayer was accompanied by my pledge of a lifetime of service—a pledge which, though imperfectly, I’ve tried to keep. With this blessing and pledge, I was nudged toward discipleship without realizing what service would be required. I had been blessed, and I knew that God knew that I knew. I remembered the pledge after the war when my overseas savings gladly went to finance a mission. This mission, of course, was yet another step in the direction of discipleship.

Many subsequent and subtle moments have been at least as important to me as that defining moment in Okinawa. Unlike the roar and crash of artillery followed by a delivering silence, these smaller moments involve the Lord’s periodic whisperings to my mind. Over the years, these whisperings have guided me and reassured me. They give me, from time to time, in the words of the Prophet Joseph, sudden strokes of ideas and occasionally the pure flow of intelligence (see Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 151). These moments are as real for me as what happened on Okinawa. These are inward things, often taking the form of a directing phrase. I have found that the Lord gives more instructions than explanations.

Our spiritual experiences are personal and spiritual. Often they are not sharable. Some may be, but it takes inspiration to know when to share them. President Marion G. Romney, who often combined wit and wisdom, said, “We’d have more spiritual experiences if we didn’t talk so much about them.”

Be assured that God is in the details and in the subtleties of the defining and preparatory moments of discipleship. He will reassure you. He will remind you. Sometimes, if you’re like me, He will brace or reprove you in a highly personal process not understood or appreciated by those outside the context.

In the revelations, the Lord speaks of how the voice of His spirit will be felt in our minds. He also says that if we read His words—meaning the scriptures—we will hear His voice. Many disciples have had private moments of pondering and reading the scriptures when the words came through in a clear, clarion way. We know Who it is who’s speaking to us! We’ve all had the experience of going over a scripture many times without having it register. Then, all of a sudden, we’re ready to receive it! We hear the voice of the Lord through His words.

So it is in the process of discipleship. There are more meaningful moments than we use profitably, just as in terms of service there are more opportunities around us than we now use. God is ever ready; if only we were always ready.

President Brigham Young taught, “There is not a single condition of life … [and] not one hour’s experience but what it is beneficial to all those who make it their study, and aim to improve upon the experience they gain” (in Journal of Discourses, 9:292). I hope we realize that. We may fritter away our time, but life is always drenched with more opportunities for discipleship than we use. Therefore, all the minutes and hours and moments can be, at least incrementally, defining moments.

God is in the details of our lives. He knows us perfectly, just as Jesus knew the woman of Samaria whom He quizzed as to her belief in the Messiah. She said, “I know that Messias cometh, which is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all things” (John 4:25). And Jesus said, “I that speak unto thee am he” (John 4:26). She went back to her village all excited and said she’d found the Messiah, and then, significantly, she said to the villagers, “He told me all that ever I did” (John 4:39).

God knows us perfectly. He loves us perfectly. His only begotten son, Jesus, has invited us to “come, follow me.” In a real and majestic sense, each of us has been called to serve in His holy discipleship. May we all renew our desires and efforts to do so.

Wasn't that talk great? Seemed a little long when I stretched it out like that but really when you read it all you are so engrossed in it that you don't realize how long it is! I just found so much in this talk, it has helped me to be a better person and to understand the Atonement and how the Atonement applies to me, what Christ has done for me, how he suffered, that he suffered everything single thing so He knows what we are feeling and going through and to show us that we can make it too. I find it hard to write down my feelings in a way that they will make sense! This talk changed my life and I wanted to share it with others.

**Did you read this talk?**
**What did you think?**

Tuesday Tell All...

Today is 'O Christmas Tree' explaining our tree....
I use to put the tree up the night of Thanksgiving or at least that weekend, we have a little five foot one we bought the first year we were married, I use white lights and have purple and gold ornaments to have some order and then my husband has over 30 that he as aquired while growing up, it's a tradition in their family to receive an ornament every year, after we were married his Mom told me I was in charge of purchasing them for him now. I have loved picking out things that mean something to him.

I love decorating for the holidays, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to do that this year, one my health and two my dogs! This will be the second year that I haven't put up our christmas tree because of the dogs, I thought of putting it behind Texas´ pen but then I thought, why bother? we aren't getting any presents. So I just put up our little tree and some stuff next to it, I am not a crafty person don't look at it too closely! I put some of my husbands ornaments in there too. Here is my meager decorating!!!

Talk...Part 5

Becoming Alive in Christ

God is very serious about the joy of His children! Why should we be surprised? God desires us to become more like Him so we can go home to Him. He is a perfect Father!

Where would we be, in fact, without God’s long-suffering? Given the divine sorrow each of us has caused our God and our Savior, what a divine comfort to know that “he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more” (D&C 58:42). No more reassuring and important words could be said to any of us.

What ineffable love! What stunning patience! How wrenching it would otherwise be to be resurrected and forever wincing over having displeased Him. Oh, the marvel of His divine mercy and His plan of happiness!

One day, if we remain faithful, we will, as the man or the woman of Christ, know that we, too, please God. Discipleship’s enlarged capacity to serve will bring enlarged joys. No wonder we read lamentations from the Lord about those who do not accept His invitation to discipleship. “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!” (Matt. 23:37).

Or, from the Book of Mormon, “O ye fair ones, how could ye have departed from the ways of the Lord! O ye fair ones, how could ye have rejected that Jesus, who stood with open arms to receive you!” (Morm. 6:17). These lamentations measure the deep love Jesus has for us and underscore the importance of our accepting His invitation to discipleship.

Even so, Jesus prayed for us and for all of His followers not to be taken out of the world but that we might be kept from evil (see John 17:15). We stay in the classroom until school is out because there appears to be “no other way.”

It is left to each of us to balance contentment regarding what God has allotted to us in life with some divine discontent resulting from what we are in comparison to what we have the power to become. Discipleship creates this balance on the straight and narrow path.

Discipleship turns on our spiritual sensitivities. It increases the “aliveness” in each of us. These sensitivities are enhanced, not diminished, with discipleship. It’s part of what the scriptures call becoming “alive in Christ because of our faith” (2 Ne. 25:25; see also Rom. 6:11; 1 Cor. 15:22). In contrast, there’s a dullness and a sameness about sin. With discipleship we learn to act for ourselves rather than merely letting ourselves be “acted upon” by circumstances (see 2 Ne. 2:13).

One of the dangers we face in discipleship is drifting. This can occur when we become “wearied and faint in [our] minds,” to use Paul’s phrase (Heb. 12:3). This is one of the tragedies of failing to be serious disciples; not that we become necessarily wicked, but rather that those who drift merely exist and are not truly alive in Christ.

Paul warns those of us on the path of discipleship to be diligent, “lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you” (Heb. 12:15). Travel on the straight and narrow path occurs in company with other disciples, imperfect as we all are. Side by side, as we all are, means that there are ways in which we can become offended or even embittered. Given the imperfections of all of us in the Church, offenses will come and disappointments will occur. How we handle these is crucial. We must be quick to prune any personal sprig of bitterness so that our wills can be truly swallowed up in the will of the Father as we put off the natural man and the natural woman. Jealousy, resentment, and self-pity can all keep us from becoming alive in Christ.

Random/weird post...

When my sister was visiting she gave me this adorable mug and I know that this may be something weird to blog about but I want to share two of my favorite mugs because they mean a lot to me.

The mug my sister gave me, she is the absolute best sister in the world and every single day I grow closer to her and love her more, I wish I could move closer to her! I think everyone in the world should have a sister like her, or if they don't a best friend like her because she is my best friend! I've never had a 'best' friend in the sense that some people do where we talk all the time everyday about everything under the sun, I have had some wonderful friends don't get me wrong but no 'best, close' friends, but my sister is and it is so wonderful, we didn't get along growing up, nothing major just different interests and personalities, but now I can honestly say that my sister is my best friend and I love her so much (okay hold the tears Ro!) Isn't this an adorable mug?


This is my other favorite mug I have had it now for at least ten years if not longer, I really like Bunnies and one Christmas my parents gave me this and it had a bunny in it and candy (it was either Christmas or birthday). I thought it was before I moved out of the house but now that I am thinking about it maybe it was after I moved out and that's why it means more to me??? All I know is that I was really touched when I got it I have kept it ever since and now it is my favorite mug to use when I make cocoa in the morning because I like to put big marshmallows in it and this mug is the best for that!

My sister also got me the mug because it is bigger than normal since she noticed that the last time she was here I would wash my other mug out everyday and reuse it since I like bigger mugs! And that way I would have two for when she visits:) Or maybe one for my husband then?

Talk...part 4

The Great Pivot

Is it possible to develop discipleship when one has no initial, inner desires for discipleship? Can we plant inner desires in someone against his or her will? External exhortation of such individuals won’t usually produce much change. For most of us, however, even when the inner desire is there, it requires periodic sharpening by outward circumstances to quicken any existing inner desires and to get us to act upon them. It was so with Abraham. Abraham desired a better life: more happiness and the blessings of the holy priesthood (see Abr. 1:1–2). Outward circumstances were a spur to Abraham’s yearnings, but clearly he had firm and basic desires of discipleship.

It’s different in the case of prodigals. Turning away from the world and toward God, toward home, requires of them to make what I call the Great Pivot. This Great Pivot begins slowly and tentatively when the mind perceives what is in comparison with what might be. This represents the first tentative steps in the process of beginning to develop “the mind of Christ” (1 Cor. 2:16). Regarding the varying degrees of progress we have made in our personal development, what if our individual lack of inner, spiritual symmetry were somehow visibly reflected in our outward physiology? How odd, swollen, and misshapen or anemically underdeveloped some of us would appear! All intellect and no heart! Earnest and eager, but without a trace of empathy! Egoistic with not a single sinew of mercy! Or perhaps fixated on pleasing self with little concern for neighbors.

Of course, our actual degree of inward, spiritual symmetry is somewhat hidden—at least until we get to know each other and to experience each other! So, the lingering question should not be, How many imperfections do I have? but rather, Is my discipleship sufficiently serious that I am working patiently and steadily to overcome my weaknesses, perhaps even changing some of them into strengths? (see Ether 12:27).

If, however, discipleship becomes a daily duty, it genuinely helps us in developing our spiritual symmetry and character. We then have much less concern, for instance, with things of the moment. The banter in the cafeteria with peers or at the office round table with colleagues would so reflect, and, likewise, family discussions around the dinner table. We would also be much less concerned with our public image and with what “they” think, being, instead, much more concerned with having Jesus’ image in our countenance. The one-upmanship we typically see connected with intellectual prowess and other forms of prowess is opposite to what discipleship calls for. Jesus’ aim is to lift us up, not to put people down.

Given all you and I yet lack in our spiritual symmetry and character formation, no wonder God must use so intensively the little time available to develop each of us in this brief second estate. One’s life, therefore, is brevity compared to eternity—like being dropped off by a parent for a day at school. But what a day!

For the serious disciple, the resulting urgency means there can be few extended reveries and recesses and certainly no sabbaticals—all this in order to hasten God’s relentless remodeling of each of us. Reveries and special moments may come, but they are not extended. Soon the drumroll of events, even difficulties, resumes. There is so much to get done in the brief time we have in this mortal classroom.

Comparing what we are with what we have the power to become should give us great spiritual hope. Think of it this way: There are some very serene, blue lakes on this planet situated in cavities which once were red, belching volcanos. Likewise, there are beautiful, green, tropical mountains formed from ancient, hot extrusions. The parallel transformation of humans is much more remarkable than all of that—much more beautiful and much more everlasting!

So it is, amid the vastness of His creations, God’s personal shaping influence is felt in the details of our lives—not only in the details of the galaxies and molecules but, much more importantly, in the details of our own lives. Somehow God is providing these individual tutorials for us while at the same time He is overseeing cosmic funerals and births, for as one earth passes away so another is born (see Moses 1:38). It is marvelous that He would attend to us so personally in the midst of those cosmic duties.

Are we willing, however, to be significantly remodeled even by His loving hands? Enoch was. He marveled over God’s vast creations and fervently exclaimed, “Yet thou art there” (Moses 7:30). God is ever “there”! Significantly, Enoch also exclaimed over three attributes of God’s character, declaring that God is just, merciful, and kind forever. You and I count on those attributes of God every day. And the fact that God uses those qualities to bless us should stir us to develop them in ourselves to operate in behalf of others.

Talk...Part 3

The Burden of the Natural Man

The gospel’s rich and true doctrines combine to constitute a call to a new and more abundant life, but this is a lengthy process. It requires much time, experiencing the relevant learning experiences, the keeping of covenants, and the receiving of the essential ordinances—all in order to spur us along the discipleship path of personal progression. In the journey of discipleship, we lose our old selves. The natural man and the natural woman are “put off,” and then we find ourselves become more saintly (see Mosiah 3:19). One sees such saintliness all about him in the Church—quiet, good women and men, not particularly concerned with status, who are becoming saintly. This is what should be happening in the lives of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Yet, walking and overcoming by faith are not easy. For one thing, the dimension of time constantly constrains our perspective. Likewise, the world steadily tempts us. No wonder we are given instructive words from Jesus about the narrowness and the straightness of the only path available to return home: “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). He also said in that same verse, “No man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” Jesus has laid down strict conditions.

We live in a world in which, happily, many others regard themselves as Christians. Some live rich and marvelous lives. But there are some who style themselves as Christians who admire but do not worship Jesus. Some regard Him as a great teacher but not as the Great Redeemer. Yes, Jesus is the generous Lord of the expansive universe, but He is also Lord of the narrow path! Some people forget His latter Lordship.

The ravines on both sides of that narrow path are deep and dangerous. Moreover, until put off, the shifting, heavy, unsettling burden of the natural man tilts us and sways us. It is dangerous.

Nor does the natural man or the natural woman go away quietly or easily. Hence the most grinding form of calisthenics we will ever know involves the individual isometrics required to put off the natural man. Time and again, the new self is pitted against the stubborn old self. Sometimes, just when at last we think the job is done, the old self reminds us that he or she has not fully departed yet.

A vital, personal question for each of us, therefore, is, Are we steadily becoming what gospel doctrines are designed to help us become? Or are we merely rich inheritors of an immense treasure trove of truth but poor investors in the process of personal development so essential to discipleship?

Significantly, when the Lord God described His purposes by saying, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39), He uses the word work, even though His is a “marvelous work.” For us, becoming like His Son, or “even as [Jesus is],” certainly is work! (3 Ne. 27:27). Of necessity, this process requires the cross of discipleship to be taken up daily—not occasionally or seasonally.

Sometimes, as we commence taking up the cross, we ignore or neglect the first part of Jesus’ instruction. He said, “Deny [yourselves], and take up [your] cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23). This self-denial is especially challenging in a world filled with so many sensual and secular stimuli. In our time, greed and lust, though they have always been friends, have never formed quite the cartel they have formed now. It is global; it is so profitable.

Denying oneself has never been popular as a lifestyle, and it is clearly not today. Self-denial is portrayed by many as too puritanical and too ascetic. Scoffers have acquired powerful pulpits from which they bray their message, which constantly puts down discipleship and encourages the natural man to think highly of himself and to please himself.

What is it that we are to deny ourselves? The ascendancy of any appetites or actions which produce not only the seven deadly sins but all the others. Happily, self-denial, when we practice it, brings great relief. It represents emancipation from all the “morning after” feelings, whether caused by adultery or gluttony. Being concerned with tomorrow, true disciples are very careful about today! Self denial also includes not letting our hearts become too set on any trivial or worldly thing. Then we can learn the great lessons about the relationship of righteousness to the powers and the joys of heaven.

The fundamental fact is that if we do not deny ourselves, we are diverted. Even if not wholly consumed with the things of the world, we are still diverted sufficiently to make serious discipleship impossible. As a consequence, all the gifts and talents God has given us are not put meekly on the altar to serve others and to please God. Instead, we withhold to please ourselves. Diversion, therefore, is not necessarily gross transgression, but it is a genuine deprivation, especially if we consider what we might have become and what more we might have done to bless and to help others.

Ironically, the natural man, who is so very selfish in so many ordinary ways, is strangely unselfish in that he reaches for too few of the things that bring real joy. He settles for a mess of pottage instead of eternal joy.

By denying the desires of the natural man to the degree that they exist in each of us, we avoid this diversion, making it easier for us to take up the cross of discipleship. Of course, when it occurs in our lives, emancipation from various forms of bondage brings no celebrating parades, nor does it make the evening news. But it is big news because we “come off conqueror” (D&C 10:5).

So it is that discipleship, far from being ascetic, is to choose joy over pleasure. It is to opt for the things of eternity over the trendy and appealing things of the moment. Eventually, we become readied for the final moment of consecration, when, gladly and completely, we let our wills be swallowed up in the will of the Father. Jesus did this in Gethsemane, where he said, “Not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42). What was God’s will? That Jesus complete the Atonement. Even so, Jesus prayed, “Take away this cup from me” (Mark 14:36); and still later he cried out, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:46). Yet Jesus yielded.

Finally Snow!!!!!

It finally snowed! And not just a little! Yippee!!!!





I like that it shows the snow still falling...


What is with her keeping her front paw up?


I like how the only prints in the snow are doggie prints!