TIME...

Today was a good day (well my lung still hurts but I figured if I don't sit up straight it doesn't hurt as much so sitting hunched at the computer is great!) and I can't believe how much I have gotten done! And it's only 4pm!!!! I still have tons of the day left!!!! I haven't done big things, can't do those, but I have called people back (which I am so bad at) emailed, organized loose papers etc., I even took a nap! Just a day like today really makes you think about time, we all have the same amount and whether we use it or not it goes by fast. Although I do know that if you watch mindless TV the time goes by super fast, that is how you get through the day when you really really don't feel good!
I loved making brownies.

What an interesting thing time is, of course we all want and may need more of it in a day and we always wonder 'where did it go?' at the end of the day. I have been amazed this past year how fast time has gone for me, before I got really sick I was a regular wife/employee/patient, I worked part-time as well as did hair at home, I took care of everything in the house (laundry, cleaning, bills, errands, etc.) I loved to cook, although I am more of a 30-min. meal, not a lot of ingredients kinda gal, at one point I made my own whole wheat bread every week, I would juice fruits and veggies, and I even made homemade wheatgrass juice (you have to buy a special juicer for that) I was trying to learn to sew better I had so many projects started, I loved to vacuum I would do it twice a week, I was a wonderful wife (still am), one of the things I do to take care of my health is therapy three times a day (it takes 30mins each time), I was a primary teacher and the Activity Days leader for 11yr. olds, loved to read and was part of a bookclub, we only had Chugs then but we took her for a walk every single night (and we lived in a hilly area so it was good exercise) plus I somehow managed to watch some tv shows!. I had the same amount of time and yet I accomplished so much in a day! I was always doing something, go, go, go...I even did stuff while I watched TV (then I didn't feel as guilty) I did so many cross-stitched items. Now I will go days without doing or accomplishing anything and the days still go by fast! I thought that I would be so bored that the days would drag on and on, it's just the opposite! Time is flyin' by! Days come and go, don't get me wrong I am so glad that they don't drag on but at the same time I can't believe that I didn't accomplish anything! or that I paid one bill and that was my accomplishment for the day.
Cross-stitching a book marker while watching TV and snuggling the dog.
A cross-stitch I did for a Halloween Swap.

I don't like wasting time and yet I can't do anything about it when I have bad days, and even though my husband tells me its okay because I don't feel good, I still feel like I have wasted time and life actually, I want to be enriching my life and still learning or still using my talents etc..not wasting away my life by filling it with mindless TV or to be honest blog surfing (reading friends blogs and some new friends is fine, it's when you are just sitting there hour after hour clicking on this name and that one until you have no idea how you got to this persons...although you might end up finding a new friend, I have done that several times.)
Baby booties I crocheted for a friends baby.

I don't know if I can ever by 'okay' with the days that I don't accomplish or enrich my life. I have gotten much better (we don't have cable anymore, kinda forces you to turn the TV off) I read a lot more (as in listen to books on CD or read past issues of the Ensign online, once in awhile it's a real book) but when I don't feel good it makes me tired!!!! then I end up taking a nap, blah, blah, blah, the day is wasted. Sometimes I think I want to take an online course but I don't know if I would have enough good days to do it, I should they give you a year! And I want to cross-stitch more (I started one for my nephew shortly after I found out my sister was pregnant and now he is here! I use to do small cross-stitches in a week!) but I just don't have energy too, which to me is sad! I'm just sitting there and I can't even cross-stitch!!! I guess it just takes a lot of energy for me to breath! Speaking of lots of energy to breath it also takes a lot of calories to breath, and you would think that since I'm home all day and loafing around that I could eat a lot and hopefully gain weight, not me! like I said time goes by fast and I feel like I'm eating all the time even if it's just a snack in between lunch and dinner, I think it's because I don't do much inbetween so it feels like I just ate or that that's all I do is eat! I also have to drink high calorie shakes because I need around 2500 calories right now to just maintain my weight, and I need to gain 20lbs! So this has gotten off subject. Do I erase it? Keep it? Copy it into a new post? I'm too proud of being able to write all this to erase it so you get to keep it.

So here's to time and may we all use it wisely and accomplish good things!
Speaking of time, it took me an hour and a half to do this post!?!