Wow I am so sorry, I didn't realize that I havne't updated since the beginning of July! I have to honestly say part of it is once because I have just been hanging out in the hospital and don't feel like I have much to say and two because I don't feel like anyone is reading! I will log onto my email and there won't be any emails from the blog (it emails me when people comment) and so I will just read blogs and then get tired and sleep!
But thank you to the two of you who have commented about where I have been and hoping I am still around. I can't believe I am still here, I also can't believe how long I might stay here! Oh how do I shorten the story?
I came in with tension pneumothorax, four chest tubes later I am finally free! but it has done damage to my lungs as every hospital visit does and therefore I am 'weaker' than before I came into the hospital! That was pretty short!
So I do not have anymore chest tubes in, I got the last one pulled on friday and then Monday I made the decision to do 100% comfort care, basically so they would give me more pain meds, it means that they focus more on how I feel and my 'comfort' than what the numbers say or worry about giving me too much pain meds because it will affect my respiratory etc...
I thought I was on the way out a couple times, I still feel and know that it is near, when though is so hard to tell! I have come to peace with it being my time but I am not gone yet! So since I am still kickin' I will still do what I feel I need to do and it gives me time to work on me (something I feel like maybe I am still here because I need to work on me!).
This has to be extremely hard on my husband! The hospital is over an hour away from where we live so he spends the night (on a bad cot of course) when he can and so then we need to have people take care of the dogs, he also has school and is doing clinicals, now he has a lot to make up because my health has been so up and down! And it will only continue! He has to juggle so many things I feel for him and honestly am glad I am the one in the hospital and that he is the one out there, I don't know if I could handle it all!
My little girls have been spending more time with me and I have been able to take some photos from my phone and capture some precious moments...
Just kidding of course it isn't letting me load, I will return......
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3 comments:
I am glad that you are back, I was actually begining to worry about you! I am so glad that you are still hangin in there! You have such a positive attitude about your life and what it will bring you. You are such an awesome example to me. Thank you for being who you are!
I tell you girl you are one tough lady! I can't believe all that you have had to endure and that you are able to tell us about it. you are amazing and I pray that you are comfortable and at peace!
Well Roro, It's good to have ya back!! I'm sorry you are still in the hospital, yet glad you are doing better. I hope you continue to blog. I know my girlfriend reads your blog, but doesn't comment. You are an inspiration to her too. Her 12 yr. old son has terminal cancer. So thanks for your postive attitude for all of us.
Your friend,
Heather
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